Thursday, May 28, 2015

Thursday, May 21, 2015

I Am Happy!

I've been absent for awhile.......

My most sincere apologies to my dear readers.  The last six months have taken a toll on Anna Pearl's Attic and the rest of the house too.  To make a long story short, we lost our dear father in November 2014, our pet Chihuahua in December, our sweet aunt in January 2015, and our sister to suicide in February 2015.

Quite frankly, I have been speechless. 

Picking up my camera has been impossible.  Most tasks are monumental in effort.  Just getting out of my recliner has been difficult.  Death of a loved one is very draining.  Death of a loved one by suicide is crippling.

Through this process, I have learned a few things that I would like to share.

1.  I realized that talking to a person who has experienced death of a loved one is very difficult for most people.  You might feel awkward.  Fear of hurting the person further is often at the forefront of your mind.  Say it anyway!  Even an awkward, fear laden word is helpful.  We want to talk about it.  We need to talk about it.

2.   While suicide is definitely unpleasant, it isn't a dirty word.   Having experienced natural death and suicide in close proximity to each other, I have learned that people just don't like to hear you say the word.

3.   It takes longer to grieve a person's death when there are lots of death stacked together.  This may go on for a long time.

With that said, I would like to try to use the blog to get me out of the arm chair.  I have dug the camera out of the drawer.  I have started to list possible blog posts.  My good friends have provided urging to keep this blog going.  I will give it another try.  I just keep coming back to it.  It must be something I need.

Don't cry for me, dear readers!  I will be fine.  Every morning, I awake to the sun rising, the birds are still singing, and the grass is still growing.  I am breathing.  I am alive.  I am happy about that!